Turkeys

Hunter Jackson’s Sage Advice for a Happy Thanksgiving

When your turkey-thieving, town-abandoning, former childhood friend reappears in Licking Thicket after fifteen long years, looking like a snack and smelling like all your favorite treats put together, it might be tempting to, well, dig in.

Don’t.

And when your plan to teach the man a lesson goes spectacularly awry, becoming less of a wattle-wearing walk of shame around the Thicket’s Thanksgiving festival and more of a sexy turkey-twerk in a skin-tight bird costume featuring the hottest pair of drumsticks the town’s ever seen, you might think it’s time to get over your feud and, well, take a bite.

Resist.

But when Charlton Nutter finally shows you the sweet, pure heart he’s hiding under all his fine, big-city feathers, and you realize, thanks to the town’s meddling matchmakers, that the man is hungry for the kind of love and belonging that only the Thicket can provide, you might decide that both of you have been acting like a pair of turkeys, and in that case you should…

Gobble. Him. Up.